Feb 8, 2010

Biggest Loser?

Tonight I am going to the gym. That's it! I'm doing it. I find it sickening that I went and purchased a gym pass a full month ago and haven't gone to work out once. Don't worry, my pass has been getting SOME use, as I've suddenly taken up tanning. I know, I know you're tsking at me and thinking, "You're going to get skin cancer." But I'm not. I promise. I just need a little sunshine and Vitamin D in my life. The nervous break-down of last week reminded me of that.

Anyway, tanning aside, my body is in need of exercise something fierce. I was just sitting here thinking, "Why do I feel so incredibly disgusting right now?" and realized that my diet over the weekend had to have been the worst combination of foods I could have managed to assault my system with. So bravo, Vanae, if you wanted to make a full on attack on your own body and make it hate you. **see that? see how I just switched to 3rd person there, and spoke to myself? boy, am I witty!**

Just so that we're clear on how incredibly disgusting it actually was, and you're not thinking, "She must have had a Big Mac, and is just regretting it because of Super Size Me," I will give an overview here:

Friday= I ate a sandwich and chips with barbeque chips around 4. Then I went with some guy friends who were hungry and found that McDonald's has a deal for 50 chicken nuggets for $10. Really. This is a disgusting thing to offer, but how could a guy ever pass this up? So they ordered the nuggets, and I ordered a soft-serve cone. But don't worry, I finished off the chicken for them when they were too embarrassed to say that they'd eaten all 50. Then, after watching Slumdog Millionaire, everyone was in the mood for some curry. At midnight. So I ate that too.



Saturday= I took Dusty to lunch for her birthday at TGIFriday's. I'm not sure why, but for some reason we both thought it would be a really good idea to get the 3-course meal for 12.99. Good deal, yes. Good idea, um....no. I took home a huge box of food, and felt like I would vomit the rest of the night.... until 11 pm. I was at work filling out paperwork, feeling a big grumpy, and I just needed to snack on something. So I had some left-over pizza. And don't worry, not just one, but TWO slices.



Sunday= Thank heavens it was Fast Sunday! I skipped two fat meals. But by the time dinner came around, I was obviously starving. So I ate my left-overs from TGIFriday's.... followed by some cookie dough....and some chips. And later I was hungry again, so I ate a sandwich.... and some Oreos and milk. Gross?



Well, I know today doesn't count as the weekend, but at school I was really hungry and oh-so bored in ASL, so I bought some chips from the vending machine.... and some chocolate cookies. I ate them both before an hour was even up. Gross. Gross. Disgusting. Gross.



My body is rebelling against me. I feel like I've mistreated the poor thing. If it could, it would leave me and probably take me to court for abuse. It would win, too, on several counts. I'm so ashamed. Well, body, tonight I'm going to make it up to you. Tonight I'm taking you to out. Out to that place where every body feels like a million bucks: Gold's. That's right. You're welcome.

2 comments:

Hailey Jones said...

first just so you know.
i don't think you are a loser.
and if you were a loser you would not be the biggest.
but... bravo.
good word usage (PS).

also.
i'm glad that you go tanning. because people who are tan are waay hot. remember petey and brown. jkjkjkjk. hopefully you realize yosh is prettiest and she is whitest. and i used to tan. then found out you can die. so i gave it up.
i mist on sometimes and love that.

but... good luck.

ps do you ever watch hoarders?
it's the only show i watch. literally. but it reminds me of kell's kitch. aka hell.

LJ Lately said...

Hey Vanae! First visit to your blog, so funny! You're hilarious and a little binge here and there isn't so terrible! Enjoy it while you're young is all I say