May 29, 2010

Goodbye my Almost Lover....

.....So apparently red dye fades fast. Too fast. I've dyed my hair twice already, and the red still seems to be slipping away. It's so sad. It now looks to be a sort of brown/pink color. Don't know if that is possible, but it is really how it seems. I think I'm ready to be blonde again. Not because I don't like the red, but just because I can't keep it.

This is sort of like most of my relationships. It begins intense and passionate, but fades out really quickly, leaving something that is hard to get rid of. Haha. Just kidding. Sort of.

Anyway, I'm just going to let it do its thing until it starts to look tragically horrific, and then I'll see what I can do. Incidentally, does anyone think it's time to cut my hair? I never, never like my hair short, but other people tend to. It is so damaged that cutting it my be the way to go. I dunno. We'll see.

(Oh... I stole the title for this from a song by A Fine Frenzy. She was my inspiration for going red. How come she keeps it so well?)

May 19, 2010

Go Big or Go Home!!

I did it!! I finally dyed my hair red! It is bold and—if I might say so myself—it is beautiful! I’m so excited about it. My roommate Emily has been wanting to dye hers for a couple of weeks now, and so she made me go and get a box dye when she got hers. I was super nervous because I didn’t know if I would find a color that would turn out. But I took a deep breath (or several), and I did it. I feel like a celebrity. And I’m grateful for the fun change. Give it a look and let me know what you think. But even if you hate it, be aware that I will still think it is one of the greatest things I’ve done. I really do.

Here is one of me in my big, pink movie star glasses

And here is me with my roommate Emily as we mock swimsuit model poses. Aren't we just so clever?

May 12, 2010

Zumba and New Year's Resolutions

I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve been working on my New Year’s resolution. I know, I know, you’re all so proud and want to say congrats and all that. Nevermind that it is nearly 5 months into the new year and so the year isn’t even new anymore. But hey, I still write 2009 on things by accident sometimes. That means it is still fairly new, right? I don’t know.

I’m just really proud of myself for working on it. Actually, a few years ago I decided that it was better not to make New Year’s resolutions anymore because I never go through with them. And I just can’t deal with the stress of failure. You know? No goals= no possibilities of failure. Yeah! But no goals also= no progression. So….. I made a few resolutions for the year. And how am I doing on them? Well… I actually don’t remember what most of them are. Pretty sure I didn’t write them down anywhere because I still didn’t want to fail and then feel bad about it.

BUUUUUUUUUT…. I do remember one. And that is what I’m getting at here. I made a goal to get a gym pass, and get in shape. It only took me a month to go in and get the pass. I think I went in February. And, I got a really good deal by talking the guy down. I started going to the gym that same week. I’ve been going about once a week since then. But now the sun has been coming out, so I no longer feel like I need the tanning bed. So, not wanting my pass to go to waste, I decided to go to the gym for an actual work out.

I went yesterday. It was amazing. Did you know that the Provo gym has this room where all the lights are off so no one can see you and all your nasty, filthy sweatingness as you run on the treadmill? They call it the CardioCinema and they play movies to distract you from thinking about the fact that you haven’t been running in about 5 years and you feel like you’re dying. They must’ve been thinking of me when they built this room. After a while in there, I worked out on the weights, and found that the new ones have these awesome little pictures on them which show you how you might possibly look when you are through with the workout—pictures of people with chiseled abs, hard pecs, and muscular calves. I suppose these are for motivation as well as for instruction on how to use the machines.

Anyway, it was a spectacular workout. And then, Oscar, the “club manager” (he told me that that was his official title, but I’m wondering if he is really assistant to the club manager) told my roommate Emily all about how he sees me in the gym all the time. I guess Oscar sees the future. He also signed us up for a Zumba class. I wasn’t really sure what Zumba even was, but he assured us that it is great. We went tonight. Um…. I’ll try not to let the thought of Zumba effect my desire to go to the gym in the future. If I just go when they’re not teaching it, and pretend it doesn’t exist, I'll still like the gym.

But back to the point: I went to the gym. Two days in a row even! That is enough to maybe even create a consistent pattern. I feel proud. I might actually achieve this New Year’s resolution. Maybe.

May 10, 2010

Hair Today

Today I am going to blog about hair. That’s right, hair. You might think there is not a lot a person can say about hair—especially a person unaffiliated with beauty school or the like—but you would be wrong. I have quite the hair thought train right now. Hmmmm. Hair thought train. That is a funny image. Anyway, I suppose I’m not just thinking of hair in general, but of hair color. I started thinking about this a couple of months ago, and it has all culminated in the writing of this probably pointless blog.

As some of you may remember, a couple of months ago, my world fell apart. I posted something about it when I had my nervous break-down. Ever after that, I have been feeling super insignificant in the world that flows and ebbs around me. Not insignificant as in I don’t matter; I don’t want you to think that I am self-depreciating or self-loathing, I like myself. This insignificance is the kind that comes from feeling like one solitary leaf in a whirlwind. Things are constantly moving around me of their own volition, and I am hopeless to control them, no matter how hard I try. Despite the strength of my person, I will never be strong enough to control anything but me. Don’t get me wrong, you can be a force for good, and you can motivate others and you can help with things, yada yada yada, but really each of us is the master of only our own agency. That’s super humbling. And who knows, maybe that is a lesson that God has been trying to teach me this last little while. I’m not really sure. All I know is that I HAVE learned it. And as I’ve learned about my powerlessness to control anything but myself, I’ve gained this immense desire to control EVERYTHING inside myself. I often catch myself thinking about how I’m spending my time, and if it is really how I want to spend it. It is distracting. In the middle of a task, I will think, “Is THIS what I want to be doing right now? No. I want to be doing something else.” And since I have control of me, I will change tasks. Often this leads to my homework falling by the wayside, as you can imagine.

Anyway this is a blog about hair, right? Right. Here’s how I lead into the hair topic: One thing I found that I have control over is the color of my hair. And so for the last couple of months, I have wanted to change my hair. I started to look around for what I like—not what others like, or what is popular or mainstream, but what I like. I wanted to be in control of the decision. I realized that the color I am the most attracted to is a deep red. You may have seen this red being sported by women like the actress on GI Joe, the singer for A Fine Frenzy, and others. I fell in love with the color, and have been obsessing about it for at least a month. Really I’ve been trying to figure out whether people would like me with red hair. But then I realized that I was placing the control with other people again. Worrying if people will like me with red hair? Really? Is the color of my hair going to affect whether or not people LIKE me? I will still be the same person, regardless of the color of the stuff coming out of the top of my head, won’t I?

My friends know that I’m not very fond of stereotyping in general, but this brand is extra repulsive to me. I have spent most of my life sporting blonde locks, which I suppose makes me “A Blonde.” But I hate saying that. I hate saying I’m “a blonde” because of the package deal of stupidity and silliness that comes with that title. Blondes apparently were not blessed with brains. Brunettes, on the other hand, are smart and talented and sometimes athletic. Oh, and my favorite—Gingers. This is a term that is new to me. I wasn’t aware that people with red hair were so generally despised by the entire human race. But apparently they are. Or at least this is what I’m told. I’m told that Gingers are at the bottom of society. Seriously? This whole idea reminds me of Dr. Seuss’s “Sneeches on the beaches with the stars on thars.” Those with the star-bellies were thought to be better simply because of different coloring. But what happened when that crazy guy came into town and switched up all the colors and shapes and sizes? And what would happen if I, a Blonde, had the audacity to dye my hair brown? Would I suddenly become a brilliant-minded athlete of the century? No. I tried it. Didn’t work. Nothing can make me athletic. I’m uncoordinated. But you know what DID happen? People treated me differently. Maybe only a little, but they did it. And I have a friend who is terribly embarrassed of his own red hair because of the Ginger stigma. So he dyes his hair brown. He says people just treat him better all around. How ridiculous is THAT?!

Anyway I don’t know where I’m going with this... The truth is that I started writing this about 3 weeks ago, and now I can’t seem to capture the passion I had concerning hair at that point. I did color my hair red. Parts of it. Painted streaks right through my precious blonde locks. It was beautiful. I almost cried. Okay… maybe not. But it WAS beautiful. Then it faded. I suppose I could come up with a really great analogy about how things in your life fade and how tragic that is… but I won’t. I’ll leave it here. I still like red hair. I think I’m going to pursue it more aggressively.
The End.

Rachel Nichols from GI Joe

Alison Sudol from A Fine Frenzy

I was also going to post a picture of Jessica Rabbit just for kicks... but I couldn't find one that I didn't feel was slightly pornographic. Gross. She's a cartoon for heaven's sake!