Blessings of Pessimism

Much to my own surprise, this last weekend was a really good one. I thought that it was going to be painful and boring, since the plans I had made originally with a certain male prospect did not go through. I was disappointed, and wanted to sulk, really—I know, that is the worst possible solution to almost any problem. Still it is what I thought I wanted to do. But I didn’t. Instead, I made plans to get myself out of the house, and have fun doing other things.
Friday night, I went out with my co-worker (and new friend), Emily. We called it our own little date night. We went to dinner at Mimi’s Café, and though there was a 40 minute wait before we were seated, we still enjoyed it. After Mimi’s we went to a movie with some friends. Actually, they are some of MY friends from high school, and I couldn’t help feeling like Emily felt a little awkward as I was reminiscing, but she still seemed to have fun. It was fun to see Brady Bradley, and after the movie, we went back to his house to chat and play music. I found out that Emily has a wonderful music talent. She sings and plays the guitar, as well as writes her own music (which I think has a definite Nora Jones feel to it). All in all, it was a good night.
I anticipated Saturday as uneventful, because I knew I had to work all night and wouldn’t be able to go out. But work itself turned out to be an adventure. I learned and helped the girls practice self defense for an hour, which was pretty tiring. Then, I was forced by my supervisor to play his role for the night, and be supervisor on the shift. This was really scary for me, and my fear was fueled by the fact that the night was NOT an easy one. For anyone who doesn’t know (you know, all my fans who are inevitably reading my blog, shocked with intense fascination at the amazing adventure which is my life) I work at a residential treatment center for teenage girls. To explain my job succinctly, I suppose I could say that I am a babysitter of sorts for teenagers with intense emotional problems. I love it. I could go on and on about how much I love my job—and probably will in the future— but for now I will proceed with Saturday’s adventures. All of the girls seemed to be freaking out about one thing or another. One girl had been found with a load of contraband, and was dropped a level in the program, which sent her into what I perceived as small fits of hysteria, culminating in her running out the door and down the street at one point. Of course, she was followed by a staff member, and came back before too long, but the whole night was frustrating because of her anger. At another point, we noticed that one of the girls was missing, and we proceeded for the next ten or so minutes to search the whole house over and over again. When I had just begun to really panic, I found her, tucked in a little ball, shut in her closet. Sigh! By the end of the night, I told my supervisor that he had succeeded in reinforcing to me the reasons I never want to be a supervisor myself. I left work at 12:30 am, only to return the next morning (or really, later that morning) at 7 am. Good grief!
So Sunday was a work day. I don’t really mind working there on Sundays, since it is nice to have relaxing time with the girls. But it is hard to miss church. I feel like I need that refresher every week to make it through the next. Anyway, this week I didn’t get it. I did, however, get a 2 hour nap when I got home from work. And though, again, I was let down by this boy—who I’m beginning to think isn’t worth my time or worry—I ended up having a good time visiting with some friends before finishing up my homework. Then, my roommate came home, and I was surprised that we ended up chatting for hours about missions and boys and life in general. The surprise came because realized that I really like her, and that we’re more similar than I would’ve ever guessed. To be honest, I don’t think I had an entirely positive view of her. That’s okay. I’m not sure she had such a perfect opinion of me either. It is funny what you can think of someone when you don’t know them at all. You observe a person from afar, and say, “She is this way,” or “she must be that way,” when, in fact, you know nothing about how they are. The truth is, probably, THEY don’t even know if they are “this way” or “that way.” Anyway, I think I was able to root out a number of those biases I may have had as I spoke to her. In fact, we get along really well. It was great to have this bonding time with her.
So, overall, it was a really good weekend. I had expected it to flop, but it didn’t. I was pleasantly surprised. You know, this is really why I tend to be realistic, or even pessimistic rather than optimistic. If I don’t expect much, I end up being surprised sometimes. If I expect too much, however, I am repeatedly let down. This weekend, my pessimism saved me. Hurrah!